


Just Kill Me

by emilyann2716



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Gen, Interrogation, Torture, implied past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 02:56:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5568115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyann2716/pseuds/emilyann2716
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>37 hours, it’d only been 37 hours since you’d been captured, and already it felt like a lifetime in hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Kill Me

The floorboards creaked above you as you lay still, barely breathing. You’d hardly been able to escape the metallic torture chamber you’d been kept in, limping through empty corridors until you found a loose floorboard, and now you were struggling to stay silent as your tired and abused muscles screamed in agony.

37 hours, it’d only been 37 hours since you’d been captured, and already it felt like a lifetime in hell. The endless questioning and relentless torture when you refused to answer, Kylo Ren had almost broken you, almost, but you were determined to stay loyal to the Resistance, you had to, for Ben. So, you stayed as quiet as you could under the floorboards, hoping against all reason that Kylo Ren, someone so gifted in the ways of the force, wouldn’t be able to find you.

How long you stayed down there, you had no idea; it could’ve been hours, maybe days, all you knew was that your muscles had grown so stiff you couldn’t move if you tried, and it was becoming unbearably hot. Sweat beaded across your skin, dampening your hair and soaking through your uniform, you didn’t know how much longer you could go. Your life was easily worth the Resistance’s cause though, and if you had to die to keep their secrets, then you had to die. Ben would’ve been proud, and there were definitely worse ways to go, especially at the hands of Kylo Ren. You accepted your fate, content with dying beneath the floorboards of an enemy ship.

But as “fate” would have it, yours wouldn’t be nearly so merciful. The floorboards above you disappeared and you were blinded by the sudden light, letting out a startled cry as you were hoisted out of the floor by your arms. Your feet scraped across the ground as you were dragged through the corridors, squinting at the harsh light and barely processing the world around you. It wasn’t until you were thrown back into the cold room that you began to take in your surroundings.

The interrogation device was gone now, in fact, everything that had been in the room was gone. It was just you, the dim lights, and the shadows. Trying to push yourself up, you cried out in pain. The torture, along with the hours of stillness, had taken its toll, and every inch of your battered body was begging for you to stop, to give up. You wanted so badly to give in, but you forced yourself to remember what you were fighting for, who you were fighting for. After a few moments of labored breaths and straining, you pushed yourself up into a sitting position and scanned the room for an escape, a weapon, anything.

Nothing. No chance of escape this time, it wasn’t even a possibility. It was just you, alone, no way to fight, nowhere to hide, no escape. Your eyes began to sting, whether from dehydration, exhaustion, or the hopelessness of the situation, it didn’t matter. All you really needed to know was it was a sign of weakness, and you couldn’t afford to let it show. You couldn’t afford anymore mistakes.

It felt like another eternity, freezing in the shadows, and you wished you had died under those floorboards; surely that’s why they dragged you out. The cold kept you wide awake, kept you conscious to the pain, and left you shivering on the ground. You wished it would end so badly, that you’d wake up back on the Resistance base with Poe lying beside you, ready to kiss the nightmare away, but this felt more real than anything had ever felt before. Not even a nightmare could have such vivid pain.

You were snapped out of your thoughts of Poe, of home, by the door opening. Light spilled into the room, and then entered Kylo Ren, towering over your huddled form. You barely had the strength to look up, but forced yourself, making sure to meet his masked gaze.

“I’m sure you’ve had plenty of time to make yourself comfortable,” the distorted voice echoed around the chamber, mocking you. With what will you had left, you refused to let him get to you, merely glaring up at him in reply. “I must say, your little ‘escape’ was very amusing, but the time for games is over.” He kneeled down in front of you and held his hand out, sending painfully sharp frequencies through your mind. “You will tell me the location of your base.”

You clamped your eyes shut, eyebrows furrowing as you tried to push him out of your mind, but all it did was make the frequencies grow louder, and you couldn’t contain the scream that ripped from your lungs.

“You’re making this so much harder than it has to be. Give in, (Y/N), make this easy for the both of us.” His voice was almost soft, but the malice beneath the tone was like unmistakable, and it cut straight through you.

It took a few moments for you to respond, the frequencies drowning almost everything else out, but you took in a shallow breath and looked up at him. “You...will never get…anything from me,” you spoke, voice hoarse and breathless, “I’d rather die.”

He laughed darkly, shaking his head as he let go of your mind. You let out a sigh of relief, but it was cut short as he pulled you up by your throat, pinning you against the wall. “You’re foolish, giving up your life for a dead man.” His voice grew louder as he continued to speak, his hand tightening around your neck, “Especially a man as weak as Ben Solo.”

Those words sparked something inside you, a new strength. Your pride may have been long gone, but you’d be damned if you let anyone insult Ben, especially the man that killed him. You began kicking at him, pulling at the hand around your neck, fighting tooth and nail for a chance to bring him pain.

Unfortunately, all this led to was Kylo Ren tossing you to the ground, and a crack echoed through the room as your arm broke the fall. “What do you think you’ll accomplish by defending him? Do you think it will ever make up for what you did?” He was stabbing at your worst fears now, all the regret and grief he saw in your mind. “You abandoned him, completely shut him out! You can’t take it back, you can’t erase it, anything you do now will never be enough!” He pulled his lightsaber out and begin to approach you.

“What else could I have done?” you screamed at him, backing into a corner in some feeble attempt to get away. “Master Skywalker wouldn’t let me speak to him, wouldn’t let me come near him; I loved him!” You were in tears at this point, your voice ragged as it grew louder. “I loved him so much, and then I didn’t see him, or hear from him for years, and then General Organa tells me you killed him, _you bastard, you killed him!_ ”

He growled and pressed his lightsaber against your already burnt shoulder, bringing an agonized shriek out of you. “He deserved to die, he was _weak_!” His breath was heavy as he watched you cower, whimpering beneath him. “Killing him made me stronger.”

His words hung in the air, the silence that followed more deafening than anything. You didn’t know how much longer you could last, it took all you had to even take a breath, but you couldn’t give up, not now.

“You’re not- not getting anything- out of me,” you stammered, trying to maintain consciousness despite the ruthless pain. “Just kill me.”

“No, you don’t deserve the easy way out” he snarled, kneeling down in front of you, and the heat of the lightsaber inched closer and closer to your cheek. He stayed like that for a few moments, though it felt endless, and you squeezed your eyes shut, pressing your head back against the cold wall behind you.

It was silent for the longest time, and eventually the hum of the lightsaber stopped, followed by metal clanking. Hesitantly, you opened your eyes to see Ben Solo staring back at you, and you heard that voice, the one you’d been longing to hear for years now.

“You will give me the exact coordinates of the Resistance base.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> If this fic seemed familiar, it's probably because I posted it on tumblr a few days ago, then decided I might as well share the Kylo love here (under a different title because "Interrogation" already seems to be a well-known fic here), hope you enjoyed! (Also there will be another fic that relates to this story, but won't be a direct sequel. Advice and feedback are definitely welcome!)


End file.
